By “it” she meant the first episode of series three of the New Zealand dramedy series Under the Vines.
It features a mediation regarding who owns the vineyard, Oakley Wines, where the series is set.
Characters Daisy and Louis were left the vineyard through a will by the previous owner, however William was promised a share in it after he won a bet against him and scribbled the deal on a bar menu.
The screenwriters got what mediation is completely wrong so here is my humble re-write
Scene: Louis, a former lawyer, rehearses his opening address to the mediator like he is addressing the court, presenting his arguments against William.
“Well that stalemate ends here today.
“I am sure you agree [to the mediator] that a last will and testament is more legally binding than a beer stained bar mate.” Daisy comments: “Shouldn’t you be addressing the mediator as ‘Your Honour’ or something like that?”
Edit: Louis, a former lawyer, talks with Daisy about what they will share with William in the mediation that is constructive and solution focused, just as the mediator has coached them to do.
“We have the last will and testament which we think is more legally binding than what you have so we should have full ownership.
“We are really interested to hear your perspective on this, and hope that the mediator can help us work through this together.”
Scene: Beloved handyman Gus asks Louis: “About the case, you are going to win, right?”
Louis: “Our opponent has a terrible case.”
Gus: “Destroy ‘em.”
Louis: “You stay here and wait to enjoy the fruits of victory.”
Gus makes a congratulations sign for when Louis and Daisy return from mediation.
Edit: Gus: “About the mediation, everything is going to be sorted, right?”
Louis: “well it depends what William has to say and what we can agree on.”
Gus: “All the best, stay positive.”
Louis: “Thanks Gus, it is confidential so you will need to stay here.”
Gus prepares a hearty dinner for them to share when Louis and Daisy return from mediation.
Scene: Mediation is held at the court house.
Outside the mediation, Daisy appeals to William: “Before I came to the vineyard I wanted a quick sale but then I found my purpose at Oakley.”
“What do you want with it?”.
William responds: “No matter what happens there will always be a place for you there.”
They sit at separate tables across from each other before the mediator who is sitting behind a raised bench underneath the Ministry of Justice insignia.
Louis presents his case against William, who is deemed a gambler taking advantage of their kindness.
Louis gives the will to the mediator.
The mediator sternly says to William: “May I warn you, the menu will not stand up in a Court of Law.”
The mediator orders a pause in the proceedings.
The parties posture in the corridors of the Court house.
Edit: Mediation is held in a light and airy meeting room, somewhere discreet.
Inside the mediation, Daisy calmly asks William: “Before I came to the vineyard I wanted a quick sale but then I found my purpose at Oakley Wines.”
“Why do you want to stay?” William responds: “No matter what happens there will always be a place for you there”.
Drinks and food are offered.
The mediator writes headings on a whiteboard to facilitate discussion and areas of agreement.
The mediator notices Louis, Daisy and William are a little tired so suggests they break for fresh air so she can draft up a settlement agreement based on their discussions for them to review.
Scene: The proceedings resume.
William rips up the bar menu and produces his trump card, a deed signed by the previous owner transferring the vineyard to him after he had sobered up.
This shifts the power dynamics in the mediation.
They decide to resolve the dispute by wagering the vineyard in a game of poker with him.
The plot thickens …
Edit: The mediator checks in with Louis and Daisy, then William to see if they want to speak privately to her about anything.
William reveals to her that he has something more than the bar menu — a signed deed of transfer.
They discuss how he may introduce that into the joint meeting, noting that he needs to do it respectfully so that he can establish his ownership share and build a trusting relationship with them so they can work well together on the vineyard.
The mediation resumes.
Louis and Daisy hear the news from William.
They are shocked that he did not tell them earlier but after listening to his reasons and his wish for them to collaborate and create an exciting future for Oakley Wines, they come to an agreement on shared ownership.
The vineyard, and those that love it, go on to thrive.
Now, I know that the original version makes for more drama.
Yet, who wants drama in their life?
It is a good thing Louis, Daisy and William are not real people and that real mediations are not like the screenplay.
I won’t give up my day job as a real mediator to become a writer.
— Kate Keddell is director of Balance Consultancy.
