When Jennifer was diagnosed with chlamydia last year, she says it was “an embarrassing time”.
Content warning: This article mentions consent issues.
“Sexual health conversations are obviously not very normalised. They’re pretty taboo,” the 24-year-old said.
But Jennifer, who’s using a fake name for privacy reasons, said talking about sex and relationships is not only healthy, but it can help people make informed decisions.
“It can also normalise the whole idea of STIs… The amount of people that have had chlamydia or something like that, it’s so common and yet so uncomfortable to discuss.”
The silent struggle around sexual health
More than half of New Zealanders (62%) feel the need to keep sexual health concerns to themselves, according to new research from Sexual Wellbeing Aotearoa.
The study, which had 1002 respondents, found more than a third find it difficult to talk about sexual health, citing embarrassment and fear of judgement as the main reasons why.
The research also shows 59% of New Zealanders agree there’s a stigma attached to discussing sexual health and a majority (62%) believe having more open discussions would help take down these barriers.
Sexual Wellbeing Aotearoa chief executive Jackie Edmond said the consequences of the silence on sexual health matters can be significant because of missed health advice and stigma.
“We really want people to go have chats, and talk about it, get tests, get the things they need to make sure they keep healthy.”
Dismantling stigma with quirky plushies
Edmond said the research motivated the organisation to launch “Emotional Support Bits” – quirky custom plushies shaped like intimate parts.
It’s a competition encouraging participants to submit a black and white sketch of what they want their “emotional support bit” to look like (it can be a drawing of their own bit) and winners get a plushie of their own.
The plushies are designed to spark conversations and dismantle taboos around sexual wellbeing – making the uncomfortable comfortable.
“We’re having a little bit of fun with this but essentially what we’re trying to do is raise awareness that it’s okay to talk about your sexual health [and] to talk about your sexual bits,” Edmond said.
‘Sharing stories is how we’ve learned and stayed informed’
The research also revealed nearly a third (31%) of New Zealanders admitted feeling uncomfortable discussing sexual health, with women and rural populations reporting higher levels of discomfort.
Jennifer said: “We’re taught so much about how to avoid getting pregnant but not enough about having safe, healthy and fulfilling sexual experiences.”
She said she and her friends have had so many conversations about the stigma over the years.
“Sharing stories is how we’ve learned and stayed informed, so it’s something we make a point to do often.”
If the stigma hadn’t been so strong when they were younger, she said they might have avoided challenges like consent issues, misuse of condoms and other contraception, or struggling to openly talk about sex with their partners.
She said they started to see how common and normal sex was in their 20s and realised they’re all in the same boat.
“Taking care of not just our own sexual health but supporting others too is so important. Open, honest conversations are definitely key to making that happen.”
