Tyler Lapham says he could not bring anything along to school for show-and-tell.
He got a lot of questions from some of the other pupils and became the focus of talk around school.
They would sometimes whistle at him as he walked into the Cupid Shop at the end of the day wearing his school uniform.
But Tyler said he was always open and honest about the fact his parents owned and operated the Dunedin sex shop.
‘‘I didn’t know anything different because I was born in it, so I was very open to everyone. It was just another job to me.’’
He would sit up in the store’s office and do his homework, and would bring friends up to the back of the store to watch television and play video games.
‘‘I guess you’d have sharing sessions at school, or show-and-tell or whatever – ‘What do your parents do?’
‘‘Obviously I couldn’t bring anything along, but I was always very open and never lied or never tried to come up with stories about what my parents did.
Cupid Shop, which claims on its website to be ‘‘one of New Zealand’s longest-running adult shops’’, closed its physical Princes St store last week.
Established in 1972, it was taken over by the late Carl Lapham in the early 1980s.
Tyler and his wife Jenna then took over ownership from his parents in 2019, two years before Carl’s death.
His mother and company director Lesley Lapham said Tyler had been at the store ‘‘ever since he was born’’.
‘‘We raised the kids in here; customers got used to it.
‘‘Carl would take him out when he went to the post office or did jobs. For us it was doable’’.
Tyler’s now middle-aged older sister had found it very different going to an all-girls secondary school, Lesley said.
‘‘It was not so open as it is now.
‘‘She certainly found out who her friends were with her parents owning a sex shop. Their parents either accepted it or moved the friendship away.’’
WHEN she joined the business after marrying Carl, Lesley said the store was very limited in what it could sell – mainly lingerie and a few novelty items.
It initially sold ‘‘blue movie’’ films, before moving to VHS and DVDs.
But DVDs were still ‘‘extremely popular’’ because certain clientele did not want to become associated with online material, she said.
‘‘Teachers, lawyers, accountants, hospital people…
‘‘We’ve had a whole range of people through this shop. You’d be very surprised.
‘‘For me, over the time, you can have anything from prime ministers through to people off the street. You might get singers in a band come in – it’s unbelievable.’’
Very few of their customers were women when she started working in the store, but they now comprised about half of their clientele.
The industry had changed since the 1970s, more than she would like to think about, and had ‘‘opened up a whole new world’’ for women, she said.
Sex was more about women now, whereas beforehand ‘‘it was all about men’’.
Cupid Shop had a very loyal customer base, she said.
Some of their regulars had been visiting them for more than 30 years – some of whom she had given her personal phone number to.
A lot of their older customers either did not know how to shop online or were scared to because of the ‘‘many horror stories out there of people stealing credit cards’’.
Not every customer bought DVDs or videos either, a lot coming in to buy gifts for a hen’s night or Secret Santa.
JENNA and Tyler had known each other since they were both about 15.
The first time Jenna set foot inside Cupid Shop was when the pair were about to head off to basketball.
Running the store was fun and something not everyone got the opportunity to do, she said.
‘‘A major misconception that I got quite a lot was that we would be involved with some sort of escort services – that we’d have extra services, like viewing rooms for people to come and watch DVDs.
‘‘We’re just a normal store, like we’re just retail. There is no extra services.
People in Dunedin were more ‘‘reserved’’ and awkward about sex stores compared to other cities around the country, Jenna said. A lot of customers felt embarrassed walking into the store, and so they would try to make them feel as welcome as possible.
The industry was not going anywhere and, although some people might be a bit shy about it, she had never really had an unhappy customer.
Discretion was a ‘‘massive’’ aspect of the business, and so they kept their customers’ identities a secret.
‘‘Especially Dunedin, it’s very small.
‘‘If you talk to one person about potentially who came in, then you never know who it gets back to.’’
CUPID Shop was a little bit behind the times, Tyler said.
The industry had shifted mainly online – particularly with younger generations – and its website was only recently updated.
A lot of people were unaware the Princes St store had until last week still been open for business.
In-store foot traffic came in peaks and troughs, he said.
Going back a decade, the store could could have 100 customers in a day.
Nowadays, it had anywhere between 20 and 30.
But the Covid-19 pandemic had been really good for the sex toy industry, he said.
For anyone with an online store and a presence, ‘‘sales just went through the roof’’.
‘‘People couldn’t leave the country, they couldn’t spend their money on travel and holidays – what else do you do at home?
‘‘There’s a lot of time spent at home and you need to have some sort of enjoyment when you can’t get out.’’
They also owned both the building and the land, so not having to pay rent had helped them to manage expenditure amid cost of living pressures.
Cupid Shop was his father’s legacy, so it was really sad their family’s time at the store had ended, Tyler said.
They made the decision to close the store and move solely online so he and Jenna could spend more time with their 1-year-old daughter Harper.
Brick and mortar stores had become a lot harder to run, a problem many other industries faced.
‘‘Small businesses throughout New Zealand are struggling because of the increase of Shein, Temu.
‘‘It’s so cheap to order online. There’s so many different options.
‘‘We get to close on our own terms because of our own personal decisions, and not everyone gets that chance.’’
They had noticed a recent shift back towards face-to-face customer service.
Customers would browse their products online first before inquiring in-store, or ringing up to get advice.
Some people perceived the adult industry as only being for people who potentially had kinks ‘‘or need something a little bit extra’’.
‘‘It’s actually just for the everyday husband and wife who want to explore a little bit more together, or just want ways to bond a little bit more.
‘‘You don’t need to be into anything dangerous or extra or weird to go to a sex store or buy stuff online.
‘‘It’s for everyone’s enjoyment.’’
