Keeping the peace often means keeping the problem … until the grenade rolls in and no-one knows who pulled the pin.
At first glance, a conflict-free workplace might seem like a sign of a healthy culture. Meetings are quick and run smoothly. Teams stay agreeable. There is hardly any tension.
But as many business owners eventually discover, silence isn’t always golden — it can result in deferred chaos.
The Hidden Cost of Harmony
When your team holds back disagreement to “keep the peace”, it creates a subtle but damaging dynamic. Over time, this can cause very real costs:
• Innovation stalls — without disagreement, new ideas are less likely to surface or be challenged in productive ways.
• Trust erodes — when people don’t feel safe voicing concerns, collaboration becomes transactional.
• Problems go underground — feedback isn’t shared, misalignments grow, and unresolved issues simmer beneath the surface.
• Resentment builds — unmet needs diminish people’s ability to cope with minor problems. They disengage and avoid collaboration.
In many workplaces, the pressure to avoid conflict isn’t intentional. It comes from a well-meaning desire to be “professional”, avoid friction, and stay efficient. That instinct may seem logical but what’s the actual cost of a team that avoids hard conversations?
Over time, this avoidance costs real money, delayed decisions, duplicated work, high turnover, and missed opportunities to improve how things get done.
Healthy Conflict Is a Competitive Advantage
I see healthy conflict as a strength for your business to cultivate. When managed well, disagreement leads to.—
• Better decisions, because more perspectives and diversity of thought are shared.
• Stronger teams, built on trust, understanding and mutual respect.
• More resilient cultures, where people are free to challenge, question, and improve.
The key is that conflict doesn’t need to be dramatic or destructive to be valuable. Even small moments of honest disagreement when handled with care can be powerful levers for growth.
Key Signs of Unspoken Conflict
Conflict often hides beneath the surface in subtle behavioural patterns. Here are key signs to watch for as a business owner or leader:
• Meetings feel too easy — decisions are made quickly without much discussion or differing ideas. This might mean people are afraid to speak up or have fallen into groupthink.
• Passive communication — frustrations are expressed in private (not in the room where decisions are made) or through sarcasm or side comments. This might mean people don’t feel safe to speak honestly due to fear of consequences.
• Avoidance — feedback is vague or sugar-coated, and important conversations are regularly postponed. This might mean people lack the skills to deliver clear messages that improve performance or solve problems.
• Withdrawal — people hide (maybe by working from home) or form silos, communicating only with those strictly necessary. This can indicate eroding trust and that conflict is being managed through avoidance rather than resolution.
How to Respond
If you don’t spot the signs of unspoken conflict, people in your business won’t be open and honest with you and you’re likely to be blindsided. You need to be proactive to stop the cycle of avoidance. You can do this by:
• Creating safe spaces for feedback and discussion. Consider how your culture approaches disagreement.
• Modelling vulnerability as a leader by inviting different viewpoints. Do people feel safe challenging you or bringing new ideas to you?
• Training managers to recognise and handle healthy conflict. Do your managers have the skills to handle courageous conversations confidently? Sometimes I coach individuals, but programmes such as The Conscious Leader by Kakapo Consulting can have broader impact.
• Using facilitators or mediators when conversations feel stuck. Mediation isn’t just for resolving high-stakes disputes. In many cases, it’s a proactive tool for creating space for the tough conversations that matter, especially the ones people tend to avoid.
Don’t Aim for Silence. Aim for Honesty.
In the long run, teams thrive when they communicate openly. As a leader, your job isn’t to eliminate disagreement. It’s to ensure your people feel secure enough to speak up, disagree respectfully, and grow together.
If you haven’t had an uncomfortable conversation in your business lately, it may be time to start one before the silence is detrimental.
That’s how strong businesses and stronger cultures are built.
• Kate Keddell is director of Balance Consultancy
