The family of a 75-year-old Samoan woman with dementia, who went missing after leaving her Glen Innes home alone earlier this week, says they are “eternally grateful” to the community for helping her return home safely.
Her daughter, Rina Tuigamala Sua, said the experience showed the challenges Pacific families face when seeking help and hopes that the government will streamline the process for pensioners with dementia.
Peta, only one name, recently moved to Glen Innes after living in West Auckland for decades. On the afternoon of Wednesday, August 7, she left her daughter’s home without a phone, money, or any means of communicating her whereabouts. She boarded a bus headed across the city, unable to remember her new address or how to get back home.
Sua, who lived in Samoa but was temporarily in Aotearoa New Zealand to care for her mother, said the experience was frightening and disorienting.
“To be honest, a lot of mixed emotions, it was not only very scary, we felt lost and helpless because New Zealand is so big and we’re from Samoa,” she said. “Maybe a little embarrassed because I lost my mom under my watch… but dealing with dementia isn’t easy.”
Later that day, an act of kindness from a stranger triggers a chain of events leading to Peta being found safe.
Will Flavell, deputy chair of the Henderson-Massey Local Board, noticed Peta struggling to communicate at a café in Henderson Mall earlier that afternoon. Recognising that something was wrong, he approached Peta and greeted her in Gagana Samoa.
“I get up, approach her, greet her in Samoan and ask what she would like. After she orders, I sit with her,” he said.
Flavell, who has whakapapa connections to Ngāpuhi, Ngāti Whātua, and Ngāti Maniapoto, spoke with Peta for nearly half an hour. She shared about her life in West Auckland and mentioned that she had come to the mall because she was bored at home.
“She is in good spirits, but she keeps repeating the same question every 45 seconds,” Flavell said. Realising something was amiss, he offered to help her get home, but she insisted on taking the bus.
Later that evening, Sua posted a plea on Facebook: “Hey, family and friends. My mom has wandered off from home in GI at 1.30ish this afternoon. Some of you don’t know but my mom has dementia and she doesn’t know our current address… She was last seen sitting at the bus stop on Taniwha Road on the route to go to the city.”
The post quickly spread across local pages. Within two hours, Flavell recognised her photo and contacted the family, sharing what Peta had told him, including her name and their meeting location.
“When Will called, all my kids and family were circling the city streets. So once we got that call, we had high hopes and on top of that we managed to narrow down the area she’s likely to be.”
Not long after, a taxi driver called to inform them that he had dropped Peta at Waitākere Hospital. The family found her sitting safely in the waiting area.
“Will’s call played a huge part in finding my mom,” Sua said. “We’re so grateful. I don’t personally know Will, I’m from Samoa, but I spoke to him and I just want to thank him from the bottom of our hearts.”
Sua thanks the kindness shown by strangers. “Awww, on behalf of my family, I like to thank everyone that reached out via call, message and prayers… faafetai faafetai lava, may the Lord bless each and every one of yous tenfold.”
She said the experience highlights how difficult it can be for Pacific families to get support, especially when caring for elders with dementia.
“Everyone tells me to get my mom a tracker, so I get one the next morning. But maybe the Government can ease up on the rules when it comes to our parents who are on the pension.
“Us Islanders want our parents and grandparents to enjoy their old age, especially when they’re sick. Having so much red tape around their movements feels a bit unfair.”
She calls for more compassionate, culturally aware systems that better support elders like her mother and reflect the needs of Pacific communities.
Flavell said the experience also shows the need for frontline public transport and service staff to be more aware of the needs of vulnerable elderly passengers.
“Even a simple ‘Are you okay?’ or ‘Who are you travelling with?’ can go a long way,” he said. “It would be great to see bus drivers, transport staff or security at stations just taking that extra moment to check in with elderly passengers. That small act could prevent a family from going through what Rina’s did.”
He said basic awareness training on dementia and elder vulnerability could make a real difference. He adds that language is also a powerful connector.
“You never expect someone with dementia to travel across the city alone, but it happens,” he said. “It would be good if staff just had prompts to ask gentle questions or check if someone’s okay.
“If someone knows your language, it just makes that connection more stronger and strongly connected to the person.
“Speaking with her in Samoan… helped me realise… this is the outcome of learning Samoan and this is a benefit to that for me. It’s not just for me. It’s about how you serve the community.”
Flavell, who is not of Pacific descent, learned to speak Gagana Samoa through free community classes. He said he’s grateful for the opportunity to learn the Samoan language.
He said learning one’s heritage language was extremely important.
“Letting her know that I’m not Sāmoan… I think she was probably a little bit surprised.”
“Tāmaki Makaurau has the biggest Pasifika community in the world… When one knows their language and their identity, it just makes life so much better for them… Language can literally help save lives.”
LDR is local body journalism co-funded by RNZ and NZ On Air.
